With my first day firmly tucked under my belt, it was time to face the second day of my challenge. Was I going to make it through? Self-doubt slowly crept into my mind over breakfast.
I was becoming more self-aware, which only made me feel more nervous! I began to second guess the odd thing that I would say. I would ask people today “Was I complaining?” “Was that just a complaint?” They would say “No ” and I would sigh a temporary sigh of relief, knowing that I would be asking the same question again very soon!!
The interesting thing is that I was more fearful of failing than of actually complaining! All my friends are watching me. What if I say something that is a complaint? Will they “rub it in”? If I do fail, I’ll have to start the 21 days all over again. How long do I keep doing this if I do fail the first attempt?
This afternoon, there were several things that did not work out. Technology was failing me, some people were annoying me (even writing this I wonder if that is considered complaining!). I felt like I just wanted to let it all out and just say something. Say anything!! I just want to let it all out.
I felt my stomach getting slightly tense, and I wondered if not saying anything was good for my health? And that is an interesting point. Does complaining actually benefit you physically? Does not saying anything, keeping your thoughts to yourself, actually affect your health in the long term? I don’t know!! What I do know is that I just wanted to “spill my guts” but I knew that I couldn’t! Remember what your mothers might of told you as you were growing up:
” If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all!”
Some people might not be saying much at all if they stuck to such motherly wisdom!
So with Day 2 over and done with, I found it slightly harder today. I even said to one of my friends today that I do not know if I might be able to last the 21 days!! One thing that I will find completely interesting over the next 3 weeks is how my own perspectives may change. Will I actually become more aware of the negativity around me? Will I become aware of my own thought processes? Will I actually figure out why it feels so good to complain?
Oh well…all in the name of science huh? Day 3 tomorrow!