I think I am Happy…

Hey everyone!

Are you happy? Truly happy? Or do you merely think you are? How do I know if I am or not? Well…you just kind of know. Do you spend most of the day smiling? Do you get out of bed in the morning with a groan or with a song? Do you appreciate the things you have in your life?

Too often happiness is perceived (and promoted by TV ads!) as something that is determined by external factors. You might say to yourself, “If only I had such and such, then I would be happy.” In a consumerist society we are always dictated to by advertising companies that if we had their product then we would be happy! But guess what, they are always coming out with the latest product, and then you feel sad because you need the latest thing! (plus, if all you needed for happiness was their first product, why did they replace it with the new one!)

We also can be too reliant on others to fulfill our happiness. Uncle Joe may of promised to take you out to dinner, but then he forgot and now you are sad. What happens next? You start to think of all the other times Uncle Joe may have let you down. Then you think of other people and how they have disappointed you.  Then you start to get upset and angry! But you need to realise that Uncle Joe, just like anyone else, is human and prone to make mistakes. Think about the things that people have done for you, how they have helped you, picked you up when you may of been feeling down. Start to appreciate your friends and family.

True happiness comes from within. It is an accepting of yourself.  It is an appreciation of the things you have, not taking them for granted, but just being thankful that you are blessed enough to have them. Happiness is an accepting that other people are human, just like you, and they will make mistakes, but you love them still the same. Sure there will be times when they will irritate you, but how many times have you irritated them?

Happiness is an accepting of circumstances. Realising that what has been, has been. It is in the past and there is nothing you can do to change it. Focus instead on the thing you can change: the future. What do you want it to be like?

Happiness is realising that you are a unique individual. There is no one else like you. Accept yourself. Love yourself. Be at peace with yourself. if there is something that you do not like about yourself, ask yourself why you don’t like that part. Maybe it is just you being too hard on yourself. If you accept yourself, appreciate yourself, and love yourself, then you will find it easier to accept, appreciate and love those around you.

Too many times I have seen people blame others for their misery. They blame circumstances (granted there will be times when things can get on top of us!), they blame their work. They think that by changing jobs, moving to a new town, or taking some other drastic measure, it will make them happy! It doesn’t! Why? Because their happiness was not and is not determined by external factors. True happiness lies within the individual. Have you ever heard people say “Think happy thoughts!”?  It is true that as we think, we become.

Are you happy? If you say  “I think I am”, suggests that you are not sure. Have a look within yourself, what do you need to change? Go ahead and change it! Then you will be able to answer the question “Are you happy?” with and emphatic: Yes I am!

 

Your Emotional Compass

Hey everyone!

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was from a counsellor a couple of years ago. He said “Do not allow anyone else’s emotional compass determine your direction!

I used to allow people who were heading down (south) to bring me down with them. I would be feeling “on top of the world”, next thing I knew someone’s attitude was pulling me down to the cold barrenness of emotional Antartica!

People would be stressing all around me, getting moody, and I would want to try and make them happy. Or I would get nervous because they were angry, next thing I knew my “emotional compass” was going hay-wire! It was like I had somehow been sucked into an emotional Bermuda Triangle! (Have you ever noticed when people are in a bad mood, it seems to spread. But if you are in a happy mood and others around you are in a bad mood, they don’t catch your happiness?)

But then, when I was given that sage advice about not allowing other people’s emotions dictate which way my emotions went, I decided to change! I refused to take on board other people’s negativity. If people around you want to be negative and moody, let them! Do not own that emotion. Do not allow it to come on you, for once you do, your compass is going to point “South” and you’ll be heading down to emotional turmoil! Do you think that the person having “a moment” really cares that he or she has just made you feel moody too? NO!!

So refuse to allow the moods and negative attitudes of those around you to influence your “emotional compass”. Point the needle to “North” and head upwards, not downwards. There are going to be times when the needle will be bumped and influenced by “environmental” factors (grumpy, depressed, negative people). But just make a readjustment in your emotion, recognise that it has been sent slightly off-kilter, and then get back on track. Remember these words, just as I do everyday:

Do not allow anyone else’s emotional compass determine your direction!

Once you decide that, then you will find your life become happier, you’ll have greater serenity and more peace!

 

It’s Just a Thought!

Hey everyone!

We have them all the time. Sometimes they make us happy. Sometimes they make us sad. Sometimes they make us angry or scared! We might even stew over them. Toss them over in our minds. What are they? THOUGHTS!

Thoughts can be positive or negative. They have such a powerful effect on us. They can influence our well-being and our health! How often do you think about what is going through your mind. How often do you analyse the thought. We seem to be prone to cuddling up with the negative thoughts, and give a mere wave to the positive thoughts.

We seem to want to reminisce about the negative. The wrong that has been done to us. We plot revenge! We think about what we could of done, or should of done in the situation. We play the scene over and over again in our mind. But what is this really doing? It won’t change the situation, because that is in the past.

It is affecting your enjoyment of the “Now”! You are so busy thinking about the situation (past) and what you will do in revenge (future) that you have no time to enjoy the “Now” (present). It can be hard to just forgive and forget. But that is what we should do. It is true, that we should discuss our feelings and resolve any wrong doing that we may have suffered. But do not meditate on the thought! Just let it glide, and refocus on the “Now”!

As we learn to let our thoughts just be…then we can experience the present moment in a richer way. We will be happier, and ultimately healthier.

So next time a thought pops into your head. Just let it be…do not dwell in it. After all…it’s just a thought!

 

Open the Door!

Hey everyone!

They say “Opportunity knocks”, but sometimes we think it always knocks on other people’s doors and not ours. We look out the window, like an anxious parent waiting for their child to get home, vigilantly looking for opportunity to knock.

But sometimes we have to go looking for it! That might not seem fair, but how many people do you know who play the “waiting game”? They will still be waiting 10, 20, 30 years from now for opportunity. I played that game. Waiting and hoping for a break to come my way. I was working the same job for a number of years, hoping to get that promotion. It never game. Welcome to the “glass ceiling” folks! 

Why do we wait for others to give us a break? Why do we let others control our destiny? Maybe it is because we are given the illusion (or lie) that if we work hard, then we will be recognised by the “powers that be”.  And they will approach us and give us that long sought after promotion.

We go to work every day, do the same thing, and yet we have the same result. How often have we repeatedly done the same thing over and over again, hoping that “this time” it will work. This time I will get that elusive “big break”. Guess what? It hasn’t worked! If it had  you would of stopped doing what you were doing!! You may all of heard the definition of stupidity:

Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result each time.

I am not putting down persistence, or hard work. For these are necessary qualities to get anywhere you want in life. What I want you to realise is that, if what you are doing hasn’t got you to where you want to be, then it’s time to change something. What is it that you may be doing wrong? What is it that you may be “missing”? Find out and FIX IT!

Opportunity may come fortuitously knocking on your door. If so, open up the door and let it in! If opportunity refuses to knock at your door. Track it down and knock on IT’s door! If it refuses to open the door, then kick the door down!

Life can go by pretty fast. Next thing you know, you are looking back at what could of been. Instead of looking at the “what-could-have-beens”, let your life reflect the “what-is-you-have-made-of it.”

Go out. Have fun. Track down opportunity, kick it’s door down and see where you end up! Have a great time!

 

A New Day, A New Page

Hey folks!

How many of you have had a day where you wish you shouldn’t of got out of bed? The familiar  “Day from Hell”. All you can think about is the horrible things that have gone wrong. Then you get into the “Why Me’s?”

Finally the day reaches an end, you climb into bed thanking the Powers that Be, that the day is finally over. You pat yourself on the back for miraculously surviving. You close your eyes to go to sleep, then suddenly a thought jars you awake: What if tomorrow is not going to be any better than today?

You start forecasting all the scenarios that could go wrong tomorrow. “I may trip over the cat when I wake up and get out of bed.”,”I haven’t finished the report the boss has asked for. He’s gonna really give it to me tomorrow!”, “The car has been making a funny noise lately, it will probably seize on me on the way to work. Just my luck!”

What have you just done with these thoughts? You have started to write the script for tomorrow. It is a script of negativity, failure, and pessimism, Inspired by events that have transpired TODAY! You have just prognosticated about tomorrow. Will it be “Ground  Hog Day?” It will be if that is what you are looking for. We find that which we focus on. If we focus on negative events, on the things that may go wrong, then we will find them. But if we look for the positive things, we will find an abundance of those!

Each day is a fresh start. No point in reflecting back on what has been. You can’t change it. Let each day be treated as a blank page. What are you going to write on that page. Tales of woe and misery? Or a tale of positivity and encouragement.  If people were going to read the “story” of your day, what would you like them to read?

You are the author. It is up to you to decide what your story will be.

 

Don’t Let your Bubble Pop!

Hey folks!

Have you ever experience the following?: You are happy, having fun, nothing bothers you then…WHAMO!..somebody says something or does something and then your mood changes for the worse!

What just happened? Your bubble just got popped!! We can be coasting along in our own happy world, oblivious to all around us, but then something touches the surface of our bubble and it explodes. The negativity has burst our positivity bubble!

The surface tension of our bubble might be different than someone else’s surface tension. It might be weaker than otherr,  or it might be stronger and able to withstand a good, sharp stab. How do you know what your bubble’s surface tension is like? If someone makes a blunt comment and your bubble pops, then you have a weak surface tension. If someone makes a sharp comment and pops your bubble, then you have strong surface tension! But the good news is that you can constantly strengthen your bubble’s surface tension to withstand the sharpest of jabs!

What can I do to strengthen my bubble’s tension? The main thing you can do is stay vigilant! Try and avoid the barbs that surround you daily. If one has just hit your bubble, immediately deal with it!

How do i deal with it? You can either walk away from the situation. Or if someone has made an unfair comment, just realise that the comment was unfair and move on. Do not dwell on it! If someone makes a sharp comment, then let them take ownership of the emotion(s) behind the comment. (Maybe they are having a bad day; maybe they haven’t developed the right “people skills”). If someone has done something to irritate you, do not take it as a personal attack!

DO NOT TAKE ON BOARD ANYONE’S NEGATIVITY!

If you refuse to allow to take on the negative emotions of those around you, then you will find that your bubble will stay intact! It’s like a force-field of peace and serenity, that only gets stronger as you protect it and defend it!

Heck, you a find that other people want in on your bubble of happiness, peace and joy! Let them in!!

 

Go Outside and Play!

Hey folks!

How often have we told the kids to “Go outside and play!” What is our motive behind the suggestion? Maybe it is so we can have a break from them. Perhaps we are concerned that they spend too much time inside playing on their PS3 or Xbox. We may be concerned that they are not that physically active

But how often do we, as adults,  “Go outside and play?” If it’s good enough for the kids, what about for us as we grow up? Life gets too busy and we find that our time is taken up in other pursuits and demands. Granted that children do not have the same responsibilities that adults do. But we still need to find time to go out and play.

When was the last time you took the family out for a bit of fun at the park? What about when you take the dog for a walk, is it just a walk? Maybe you can turn it into a game by running in front of the dog, and then waiting for it to catch up! What activities do you do with your children? These are just some suggestions I have come up with. But you can come up with your own.

The point is that “Going outside to play” isn’t just for children, it’s for everyone! Life is too short not to enjoy it and have fun! Go to the beach and chase the dog. Go to the park and play hide and seek with the kids! Even with other adults you can have fun. Take a ball to the park with your mates and kick it around!! Who cares what people think?

It’s time to turn off the TV, get off the couch and “Go outside and play!”