Have you ever heard children boast “Mine’s bigger than yours!”. They might have a bigger ice cream, bigger part of the biscuit you broke in half, or a balloon that might have slightly more air in it! To them it’s a triumph. The child feels special, like they have become a new favourite child.
When we grow up we still play that game. It’s more sophisticated. The car you drive might be bigger, faster, and slightly more flashier than your friends car. Your house might have a couple more rooms in it than the rest of the houses on your street. Your’s is bigger than theirs! Your ego is massaged and you feel like you are on top of the world.
Then it comes to your problems. People are always comparing those to the problems others have. I witnessed that today. A guy was angry about a siutation, he blamed people for the situation. It was like he was perfect and everybody else was infalliable. People started to get attitudes. Then another guy started going on about his problems. Up comes all the past issues that he (illogically and irrationally) assumed may have contributed to his siutation (which had absolutely nothing to do with the first situation!) So now, there were to guys aggressively debating who had the bigger problem!!
What I observed was a sophisticated game of “Mine’s bigger than yours!”. You may of experienced it yourself, Heck, you may of even played the game without realising what it was that you were doing! It begins by someone complaining about a problem, to which the response is given “You think you’ve got problems! Today such and such happened, then last week, oh, that was a week from hell! Nothing went right. I was late for work again, then got a warning from my boss, on the way to work I got a speeding ticket. Then I had to take my cat to the vet. That’s not cheap you know!”
It’s like people are trying to out do each other with their problems! The cause is simply this: people are too self-focused. Instead of listening, they are waiting to play their hand and “trump” you so that you can feel sorry for them!
Why don’t we all try this strategy: Instead of trying to show how your problems are bigger than anyone else’s, get your eyes of yourself and listen to the concerns of those around you. If we all help each other, we may find that our problems aren’t as big as we thought they were. Even molehills can look like mountains if we look at them through a telescope! But a molehill is a molehill!
Problems can appear big if we give them more attention than they are due. Situations can become aggravated and blown out of proportion if we allow emotions to take over. That is what happened today. A simple situation got blown out of proportion because one individual turned the molehill into an exploding volcano!
Instead of comparing problems, let’s get alongside each other and help each other through. Then we will see that they weren’t as bad as we thought they were. It may appear that yours is bigger than anyone else’s but when we work together the size becomes irrelevant.