An exercise/challenge for y’all!

Hey everyone!

How are you all doing? To my followers I just want to extend a heartfelt thank-you and I appreciate you all. I hope you all have gotten something out of my posts and I look forward to providing you with a lot more helpful insights that will make your life more enjoyable, happy, fun and positive.

Today I want to share an exercise that I came across the other night. It is quite a simple wee exercise, yet is so powerful! I love those one’s the best! Research into this exercise has shown that it can decrease depressive symptoms for up to six months (and beyond). So if you are feeling a bit down in the dumps, suffering from major negative emotions, or just simply want a pick me up, then this exercise is for you! It is called “Three good things”

Every night, for the next week, look back on your day just before going to bed and think of three things that went well for you. Write these down and reflect upon your involvement in them.

There are three important factors at play here:

  1. Writing down the events as this causes you to focus on the events
  2. Reflection on your role in the events enables you to look at the perceived self-control you had in the events. This assists in boosting your well-being
  3. The duration of the exercise. Do it everyday for 1 week. If you cannot manage to do it for this period, then do it once a week for the next six weeks.

Too many times we focus on what went wrong during the day. We go home with the weight of the world on our shoulders and have a tendency to take it out on the one’s we love. But it’s not their fault, they had nothing to do with what happened to you during the day! Why are they in the firing-line?

This exercise will cause you to begin to focus on what went right during the day. It also enables you to reflect on how you contributed to the events and that can only have one effect: you feel good about yourself. Your self-esteen has just gone up a notch or three!

I challenge you all to do this exercise and see what affect it has on the mind-set you have about the day. You will find that your mind-set will habitually move from a negative view point, to a positive point-of-view!

Feel free to drop me a message to let me know if you have taken up this exercise and how it has changed you and your viewpoint!

 

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Learn and move on!

Hey everyone!

We all have one (I hope!). It’s called a “past”. How often do we live in in it though? How often do we drag up all the bad things from it? I am pretty sure that we can all find something negative in our pasts that we wish we could do something about. Or there might be something we regret that we have done or haven’t done. But what is the point in that? It only wastes time and energy. What is done is done, you can’t change it!!

“Oh, but you don’t know what so-an-so did to me! It was horrible!” It might of been, but you have to let it go. I have been through quite a lot in my life, but I don’t dwell on it. I just shrug my shoulders and realise that those things have contributed to making me who I am. If you have made a mistake in the past, learn from it and move on.

If someone has hurt you (and I have had quite a few people do that to me!) just forgive them and carry on with your life! Why should you allow what other people have done affect your happiness? I can honestly say that I have tried to hold grudges against people, but it gets exhausting and drains me. Plus you also notice that the other person seems to be unaffected by your grudge! Let it go!! Move on!!

Living in the negatives of the past damage you psychologically and physically! You find yourself getting angry, frustrated, tense, and depressed when you think about all the bad things that may of happened to you. Physically you are putting yourself under undue stress that, in the long run, can affect your health!

So, as you can see, there is no benefit in living in the past! Some people’s pasts may be worse than others, but we can all try and learn from the negatives. Realise how they have affected us in a positive way. Don’t live in the past, learn from the past and move on!

Tomorrow is a new day. A fresh start, ready for you to make the most of the 24-hours. Are you going to ruin tomorrow by reflecting on the negatives of yesterday? Make each day the best day you can!

Put the “Negative Nellies” out to Pasture!

Hey guys and gals!

Have you ever had someone around you who is constantly moaning about something. No matter what, they are always finding something to whine about. You probably live with these kinds of people, you might work with them. Dare I say it? You might be one! They complain about the smallest thing. They make it sound like they’re hard done by because someone has done something they don’t like. They take the smallest thing as a personal attack.

These people are “Negative Nellies”! You can actually feel them draining the energy out of you by their constant complaining! It is usually over the smallest things too. They whinge and moan and complain and wear you down with their negativity! Do you have to put up with them? No!

So how do you deal with these “Negative Nellies”? You put them out to pasture, where they can roam free with their own kind. If you notice, these people like to gather and share their tales of woe! How do I put them out to pasture? You do it by ignoring their comments. Don’t let them spill their negativity and complaints on you. When you see them gathering, don’t get involved in the gripe session. Just refuse to put up with their whinges, moans and complaints.

Let these “Negative Nellies” out to pasture. Let them roam free in their paddock of negativity, where they can whinny and kick their hooves to their hearts content! Then you can enjoy the peace and quite of your own paddock. 🙂

 

Be Persistent, and the door will open!

Hey there folks!

The other night I was watching TV and I heard scratching on my front door. That’s not unusual, it was the cat that the neighbour’s had abandoned (whom I have kind of adopted). He is always scratching when he wants to come in for food (which seems to be every 10 minutes!).

Anyway, there I was, trying to ignore the scratching. But it would not stop!! The cat just kept at it! I thought “My God! He is so persistent! He just won’t stop!” Finally I gave in and let him in. Then, like a bolt of lightning I thought, I need to be persistent like him!

How often do we start out doing something, only to give in? More often than we care to admit I reckon. If I just ignored the cat, he would be back later to scratch at the door again! He would not give up!! He had a goal in mind. Scratch at the door, it will open, and then he would have achieved his goal: Food!!

We need to scratch on the “front door” of life! We need to keep at it until life gets tried of hearing the scratching and lets us into our reward! What goals do you have? What dreams are you chasing? Go after them! Don’t give up on them! Be persistent and it will happen!

Sure there are times when you might get tired of scratching at the door, and wander away in despondency. Just like the cat did. But then he came back later and started all again! He would not give up! The door finally opened to him, and in he ran! Keep scratching, and life will finally get tired of your persistence and give you what you desired!

If works for a cat, it will work for you! So, what are you waiting for? Go and start scratching!!

 

Maximise the minimum

Hey everyone!

Look around you. What do you mainly see? Usually people in a hurry. People slogging at work day after day, trying to keep up with the demands of society. Trying to “get ahead”. But get ahead of what? Usually it is ahead of everyone else. But everyone else is in the same boat! Talk about a ridiculous situation!

Why do we have to worry about “keeping up with the Joneses?” Who are these Jones’ people anyway? I have never personally met them, but I have met people that are trying to keep up with them! These people are always needing to have the latest of everything. Just so that they can boast about how they have this and that. But guess what? The infamous Jones clan just bought a brand new “watcha-me-callit”. Now you are sad, because you need to have one of those too! The one that you bought 6 months ago, just doesn’t cut it anymore. The one the Joneses just bought has a shiny new “doo-dad” on it! It cost them a fortune! Now you are going to go into debt, because you want to keep up with these guys! You can’t afford too, but you have too! There is one thing i have to say, and that is stop being stupid!!

Why do we always feel like we have to have the newest, latest gadget? It is becuase the advertising gurus make us feel like our life is unfulfilled if we don’t have it! Look at the people in that ad about the new smartphone that has just landed in the stores. Don’t they look happy! You could be happy too, if you only had that phone! We live in a consumerist society, where our happiness is dictated by what we have or don’t have! That is wrong!!

There is a concept in psychology that is called “social comparison”. We look at others to determine whether we should be satisfied with what we have or don’t have. The Joneses have everything, and we use that as the yardstick for our lives. We realise that we don’t have all the things that those Jones folk have and we feel sad and unfulfilled in life. But then we look at someone who is unemployed, struggling to make ends meet and we discover that we aren’t as bad off as we thought. What happened to change your mindset? You just looked at two social extremes that influenced how satisfied you are with your lot in life.

Do not try and keep up with the Joneses. After all, do you think they are truly happy? Why do they always have to have the best of everything? Maybe there is some implicit insecurity issues that Mr. and Mrs Jones are suffering from! Look at what you have. Be satisfied with it. Do not try and compare yourself with others. Just be happy with your lot in life, if you feel like it’s not sufficient, then look within yourself as to why you feel that way. You may not have the best phone, the best house, the best clothes. But you might have the best life when you compare it to those you are busy trying to seek fulfillment in a materialistic, consumerist society.

Be happy with the little that you have. Enjoy it. Be thankful for the things that you have. Be thankful for the intangibles in your life: your health, your well-being, your happiness, your peace.

Be satisfied with the things that you have and cease looking at the things you don’t have.

Breathe!!

Hi folks!

Today is time for something practical! Are you excited? I bet you are!!!

Admit it. You have had a day when everything seems to be going wrong! You feel all stressed, your body is tense. You just want to relax. Here is an exercise that you can do that will help remove the tension and even will calm down your racing mind. (It takes about 3-5 minutes)

  • Find somewhere quite where you can be alone.
  • Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Hold it, and then slowly release it. Take another deep breath, hold it and release  it. Keep doing this for the duration of this exercise.
  • Focus on the different parts of your body. Start with your feet, imagine them relaxing, then your calfs, your shins, your upper legs. Both legs together. Imagine them relaxing, feel the tension melt away as you breath in and then breath out. Carry on up your body and then finally focus on your body, as a whole, relaxing. Focus all your attention on your body relaxing. Imagine it is relaxed, limp and quite.
  • Finally end the exercise with several more in breaths and out breaths.

You can do the breathing aspect of this exercise whenever you feel yourself getting stressed or becoming irritated. It also works if you are feeling nervous or anxious. Just focus all your attention on the breath entering in, then focus on the breath leaving your body.

I use this exercise all the time. When I feel myself getting stressed or wound up,  I make a conscious effort to focus on my breathing. Then I can feel myself calming down and my body losing tension.

Give it a go and feel free to leave comments to let me know how it has worked for you. I would love to hear!