Hi there everyone!
This afternoon I was thinking about love and then I had an epiphany that I want to share with you all. Hate is so destructive not only relationally, but also emotionally and physiologically. It takes an effort to hate someone. To despise a person. Hate builds walls around others. Walls that are imposed, and maintained, by the person that is hating. The bricks that build the wall can be things like jealousy, threat, fear, the way a person acts, the things a person says. The bricks can be made up of the most ridiculous things too: the way a person dresses, the way a person talks or looks!
Personally there are times when people have done things that have highly irritated me and down right annoyed the hell out of me. I found an attitude well up within me. It was “I hate you! I will forever hold a grudge against you!”. But I have found that it takes a lot of effort to hold on to a grudge! It is much easier to forgive the person and move on.
“But how do I forgive?” That is a personal choice that we each have to make. It may help to realise that no of us are perfect. We are human and all have failings. Once you come to that conclusion, it is easier to forgive another for something they said, did or did not do. Another factor is that you should not think of yourself as superior to anyone else. We are all the same, but it is an unfortunate failing in some that they think they are somehow superior to the rest of us. Here is something to observe about such people: How often do they forgive? You will be surprised to find that it will not be that often.
Love accept people for what they are: fallible human beings. Love does not hold grudges or offenses. Love does not take things to heart or personalise things. Love should be unconditional. In the Christian Bible we find this description of love:
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely; does not seek its own; is not provoked; thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8(a)
What was the great epiphany that I had this afternoon? Simply this: when you love, it will destroy the walls of hatred that we may have built up in our lives and in the lives of those around us.
Consider this: when someone hates you, what is your immediate reaction? To reciprocate that hatred! If someone loves you, you return that love. But if someone hates you, it takes an effort to love that person. But if you do, you will find that a brick in the “Wall of Hatred” has been removed! By your own decision, you have started to dismantle walls of hatred around you and others. It is unfortunate that maybe the other person has quickly rebuilt that wall. It maybe a defense against being hurt. They may feel safe by keeping other people out of their lives. There is nothing you can do if someone is deliberately maintaining their wall of hate. All you can do is love the person and accept that they are protecting themselves (maybe they have been hurt in past relationships, or their trust in people has been abused).
But make a decision to be like a bomber pilot in a battle against hate. Drop “Love-bombs” and see what damage you have done to the defenses of hate, not only in your life but in your social interactions.
It takes effort to be hateful and malicious (if you don’t believe me try holding a grudge against someone for a week and see how exhausted you feel). Make a decision to love and you will find a new found level of energy and a new outlook in life. Become a “Love-bomber!”