“Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!”
That is all that seems to come out of some people’s mouths. Everything has to be about them or revolve around them. I know a few people like that and it is draining! There are only three people that seem to exist in such people’s lives: Me, Myself and I
The other week I had a conversation with an older gentlemen. I made an inane comment to something he had said. I truly do not know if he heard me or not, but straight away his response was all about him! Have you ever come across people like that who have to turn the conversation around and make it all about them? I have met a lot of people that seem to have that knack.
If you are not skilled in identifying people who are self-absorbed, here are some pointers that will help you spot them:
- They are more interested in telling you all about what they are doing, have done, or are going to do, then they are at listening to what you are doing.
- The conversation revolves around them.
- They are always using the personal pronouns “Me”, “I” and “My”.
- If they make a mistake, it is hard for them to admit to it. They are quick to redirect the blame and they get defensive if approached about the mistake.
- Very rarely do you hear them apologise.
- They usually have to try and be the centre of attention.
Maybe you may have identified yourself in that list. If so, you should be somewhat concerned.
Do we blame the person for being self-focused? No. We should try and understand the cause. Without knowing their entire personal history, it may be that the person seeks attention and glory to mask a fundamental insecurity. That is, they are always seeking praise and affirmation. They may have a poor understanding of the reciprocal nature of social exchange: Conversation is designed to be a dialogue, not a monologue all about you! These are just a couple of examples to indicate that the “self-absorbed” individual may be suffering a deeper psychological issue that needs addressing.
What if you identify as such an individual? Is there no hope for you? Are you a lost cause? No! The first step to overcoming a problem is admitting that there is one. If you are honest enough to realise that you have a problem, then the next step is to try and identify the fundamental cause: Is it an insecurity that you are harboring? Do you have an interest in the people around you? What are your social skills like?
A step forward for those who are self-obsessed is to take your eyes off yourself, and look at those around you. Do a random act of kindness to someone. Ask someone how their day is going and show interest in their response. Offer to give someone a hand if you see them struggling in a task.
If you make an effort to do some of these things then you will find that the selfish triplets of “Me, Myself and I” have been orphaned. You will have begun to adopt the more socially aware kin of “You, Me and Us”!